Meditate to a new me.

My heart goes out

2012-03-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have a few friends right now who are in a terrible spot in their lives. My heart goes out to them, I can do nothing but offer my support and prepare my hugging so that I am all trained up when they need one. If anyone is willing to help me out in my training, I think my friends in need would all apprieciate it.

Love you all! Remember I have big shoulders, and I am training for the olympics of hugging so I will be ready when you need one.

Aup

2012-02-29T18:10:00.001-08:00

Who wants to play leapfrog?

Saturday the 14th

2012-02-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

There have been a few Friday the 13th's recently, everytime a Friday the 13th comes around I don't get all paranoid and superstitious, no I think of the 80's movie Saturday the 14th. It is quite possibly the worst movie ever made.

Recently it was released on Instant Watch on Netflix, and we watched it. It is worse than I remember.

Now when this movie came out on HBO in 1981 I was staying at my grandparents house, they had HBO. I must have watched that movie 20 times that summer. I always remember the scene where the woman is eaten by the fur coat in the closet.

I think this is one of the first Mock movies... it tries very hard to be funny... I think it has lost it's 80's luster.

Later Peeps!

Peeing my pants over here

2012-02-28T05:38:00.005-08:00

If anyone knows when Lily Dale posts their workshop list for the summer I would love it if you let me know. I am peeing my pants with anticipation over here. I want to plan my summer vacation. I have been very patient, and I don't want to wait anymore!!!

Hugs!

Ok, so I just checked the spelling of patient and found one of the definitions; "Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness." I retract the statement of my patience above. I haven't been and that is all I will say about that.

Horror of Horrors!!!!

2012-02-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

Husband and I sat down to watch a specific reality TV show (I HATE reality TV, so he is trying to convince me to watch one he is interested in, the first night I was OK, but the second was too much the same) we sat down turned the TV on and our external hard drive for the TiVo DIED!!! 1 Terabyte of amazing TV, poof... gone... never to be seen again...

This is a sad day people... a very sad day... let us have a moment of silence for all of my missing shows.....................

Thank you!

Hugs Peeps!

(hi stalkers)

Crazy addict person here

2012-02-24T17:22:00.001-08:00

SO my amazing yarn store picked this amazing pattern for me (I will post after I give it away) to make for my friends baby. The yarn is beautiful and soft, I am so in love with the pattern, it is a no brainer. You will die for the pictures once I post them you will fall over with the coolness of this pattern. Note, this is a cool baby blanket.

Anyway, I am working on it while I am at work on my breaks and all, and as I work it I think, "wow! I should make this for about seven other people." Now that makes me a CRAZY ADDICT PERSON!!! Why can't I just enjoy my knitting one project at a time and not go buying yarn in seven different colors for 7 different people. By the time I finish this blanket I might hate it, Mindless=repetitive and boring after 12 balls after all. You wouldn't believe the yarn stash I have in my house, I could start a nice little store with all the yarn I have... Seriously! I am addicted!

Later Peeps!

Mortal

2012-02-21T16:39:00.000-08:00

I realize I am mortal. I know this comes as a shock to some of you, but I am not superwoman!!

I have canceled all but four shifts at work. I am no longer able to work 65 hours a week. I could when I was a kid, but I like my husband -- a lot! I would like to spend some time with him and still have time for alone time.

Later Peeps.

Mom

2012-02-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

My mom was in the hospital, she stayed longer than expected to ward off pneumonia, but she is out now. There is nothing like the stress of someone you love in the hospital. There is nothing you can do and it affects every aspect of your life without you realizing it. Then they finally get out and it is like you take your first breath for a couple days.

That with my crazy work schedule and all of my work traveling trips I feel completely depleted. I am happy that I had the ability to sit with my mom and listen carefully to the nurses and doctors, but now I desperately need some alone time. I haven't meditated in a week, I simply haven't had the time or the energy, which is an oxymoron, not enough energy to meditate.

Later Peeps.

Update:
So I feel tired and want to do something to take care of myself. Do I go to the movies and hide or start reading my book that will make me better eventually.... Popcorn and hotdogs, or better mental health... hard decision.

Diet

2012-02-15T02:00:00.000-08:00

I don't normally diet. I am curvy woman and I love it. The BMI index says I am obese but I tell I am simply damn SEXY. I love my body! However, my body doesn't always love me.

I have VERY high Cholesterol. So off I go to a Cardiologist who has a weight loss program. I tend to not follow trendy diets, as I know they don't work. I like the doctor supervision. I also like that I have to be accountable to someone else. This program I have to check in with the doctor every week. They draw blood to see what is the best fit for each person as an individual.

I will not be doing a diet update on this blog. I would hate to read it so I won't write it.

Hugs to all!

Love and hugs!

2012-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!

Here is a skirt I just finished and I wanted to show my stuff!!!

Doing the twist!

Over working

2012-02-13T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have two jobs. One 40 hour a week with benefits and an amazing boss. The second is as many hours a week that I want to work up to 29. I try to have about 10 hours a week. It is a great job that I dearly love. My co workers are great, I don't see my boss very often but I like her a lot.

Recently I realized that I should up my hours at the second job to pay off my credit cards, pay down my debt, and prep for my summer trip to Lily Dale, NY.

Since I am a crazy person I have decided to work 24-26 hours a week in addition to my regular job. The average Joe would realize this is stupid and decided to take it a bit slower, maybe work a maximum of 20 hours a week for a week then go back to 10 for the next... Nope not me. I have set myself to work 6 hours a day 4 days a week until March 31st. This in addition to the trip I took last week I must be trying to kill myself.

The money is good and I can see how this will all work out, but I really need to look into the one week on, one week off idea.

Wrong?

2012-02-11T11:35:00.001-08:00

If you have the Rocky theme song running through your mind. does it mean something is wrong with you?

I am back

2012-02-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

I am one of the lucky few that really and truly enjoys her boss. I had a wonderful time on my three day trip for work.

I am tired but more motivated than ever having had the experience of this trip. Again I am lucky that my boss sees the importance of my attending this trip with her.

Any way, I came back to attention deprived cats and Husband. They are all so cuddly and lovely, I am very fortunate to have them.

Now if I could just catch up on my sleep.

Out of town

2012-02-07T02:00:00.000-08:00

I am going out of town on a business trip to Flagstaff. Know of any good restaurants?

Back on Friday!

Superbowl

2012-02-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

I am a HUGE Packers fan! I love then with and irrational faith that they are the best team in football. I was very proud of their season.

Now if I have to watch the Superbowl without the Packers, there are a few teams I don't want to see there. I HATE Ben Roethlisberger, I like the Steelers but can't support their team while Ben is the Quarterback.

I am not a huge fan of the Cowboys, they were a bunch of thugs. I see that they are improving... but I just can't get there yet.

I don't like any team the Kyle Orton plays for. He is a big ol' whiner, and I really don't like his face.

However it is the Giants against the Patriots today and I am honestly happy to see it go either way. My boss was born and raised in NYC so for her I will support the Giants.

GO GIANTS!!!

Processed food

2012-02-03T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have had a few people come up to me and tell me this packaged food is so delicious. So I try it and it all tastes so processed and cardboardy.

Are we changing our tastebuds to think cardboard tastes delicious? Are we changing our tastebuds to forget what real food tastes like. the most recent one was graham cracker with chocolate. It didn't taste like either a graham cracker or chocolate. It tasted horrible.

What are we coming too!

My New Hair

2012-02-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MY NEW HAIR!!!!

My new hair is beautiful! I feel light and funky and fun! I have people out in the world flirting with me. People at work are complimenting me like crazy. Husband loves it.

I LOVE MY HAIR!!!!

Lemon

2012-01-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

Recently I have developed a love for lemon. Teas, cookies, and cooking I have become fond of the flavor. I don't like Lemonade too much however.

I worked for Hot Dog on a Stick for 7 years and learned if it isn't fresh, it isn't worth putting in my mouth.
:D

SO EX CI TED!!!

2012-01-28T14:04:00.001-08:00

My yarn came in today to finish my knitted skirt!!! YIPPIE!!!!

Sugar

2012-01-28T02:00:00.000-08:00

I am addicted to sugar. I have a desperate physical need for chocolate and JUNK candy. Good stuff doesn't do it. Pastry, no thanks. I want Reese's, and twix, and thin mints.

I think there is something wrong with me. Maybe candida or some such. I never crave sugar like this. During my period (sorry guys) I have VERY specific requirements when it comes to my period. I once had a complete hysterical melt down on the phone with my husband because the restaurant I was standing in the middle of didn't have the Chocolate Mousse that I desperately needed. He talked me down and got me to the grocery store to buy chocolate ice cream. It wasn't the same but it worked.

I have tried everyday this week to be strong and cut myself off the sugar train, but I have failed every day.

SIGH!

Friends

2012-01-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have always had many friends. In general people like me. However I had some problems allowing myself to connect with people, to really trust them. I always felt like the floor was about to drop out from under the friendship, and honestly, it always did. I would move, or they would stop talking to me, or I would get upset over something and cut them off. It wasn't a healthy cycle for me let me tell you.

Well, I now can honestly say I have six GREAT friends. Two of my friends I spend a lot of time with. We knit and shop and eat and talk about absolutely everything. I have never had a bond with friends like these two ladies. I feel safe with them, and I trust them. We are all different and that is what brings us closer. We call each other on our crap. We have a lot of fun together, we cry together and we truly love each other.

I have two other good work friends that I love to go out to the movies with, and we talk about most everything. We are all crazy busy, but make time for each other to hang out.

Then I have two other friends that I don't get to hang out with very much, but I talk to them about everything. They know my darkest secrets, they know all of my crazy, they know the things I don't feel comfortable talking about because I work at a school ( I used to work in theatre people, I have STORIES!!!).

There are many more out there that I love as well, but these six have really made the effort to get to know me.

I can't tell you how nice it is to love these fine ladies. To really give my full heart to them, knowing that something may happen in the future that could tear us apart, but I refuse to live my life in fear of being left anymore. I prefer to live in the world of trust. It is much better living here then it ever was when I was living to protect myself.

I love all of my friends, and I am so lucky to have you all. The longer I sit here the more friends I feel like adding. This was meant to be a short post so I will let it be. If you don't see yourself here, know you are in my heart non the less.

Wecam Fun Fact

2012-01-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

I look like crap on the web cam after spending any time crying. HAPPY crying, but crying none the less.

My Hair!!!

2012-01-24T02:00:00.000-08:00

I perm my hair. I know many of you will be shocked to know it, but I do. I permed for 10 years when I was a kid. When Husband and I started dating I got a perm and he HATED the smell. So I didn't perm my hair again for 10 years.

It was nice having streight hair for a while, but I complained about it incessantly. I was never happy with it. So finally when we moved back to Tucson I declared that I would perm again. Husband has never been so happy in our relationship as when I stopped complaining about my hair. Also, It looks MUCH better.

Well recently I have decided to grow out my hair fairly long. I hate the idea that when you hit 30 you have to are required to have a bob, or you hair must be above your shoulders. I have been growing it out for about a year now. It is layered and the longest layer is at my bra strap.

The perm I got in August I decided to go a bit larger with my curls. That was a big mistake! I complained for the full 5 months between perms. So the first week of January I had my hair permed again and went back to the normal way of rolling my hair.... well let me tell you there must have been something wrong with the perm solution because the texture of my hair has changed and I am driving Husband crazy with the bitching about my hair. Better call my guy and see if there is anything to be done.

So instead of bitching to Husband I now turn to my stalkers. HUGS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE!!!
I cut it all off! I have the best new hair cut.

I went out with my friends and I told them that I didn't want to cut my hair like every other woman in their 30's dispite myself. That hit me hard. SO I went and cut it all off. About 8-9 inches. The girls cutting is was so worried that I would hate it!

I LOVE IT! Husband loves it too!
WHEEE!!!!

Beautiful Morning

2012-01-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

It is a beautiful morning here in Tucson. There is a nice fog encapsulating the city. Stunning.

It reminds me of my time in Santa Rosa, CA. Driving around in the fog was always so wonderful for me.

Alcohol

2012-01-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have been known to drink.

When I was MUCH younger I drank a lot, but once I hit High School I had mostly burned out on it. (I did mention that I grew up in Montana, right? You are so bored growing up that you either get drunk or pregnant, I tried both. (Sorry dad!))

So as I aged I moved onto GOOD beer and wine. I like a good Margarita everyonce in a while, but rarely.

So last weekend I went to a dinner party for K's birthday (She reads my blog!!! I am so excited! HOWDY!!) So one of her friends, Josh I think, recommended this drink called Dark and Stormy. He said it was really good so I thought I would take his suggestion. Now again, I USED to drink, and you don't taste the Tequilla in a margarita, this drink was so RUMMY, oh nelly. It was so strong I didn't even offer a sip to Husband. I like to force him to taste things that I think he will like but that is out of his scope of tastes, wine, food or whatever. Most of the time he likes it, sometimes I will get him to taste beer and he makes that sour beer face... love it! But I digress.

So this drink was very strong but I didn't get drunk. What is up with that? If I am going to suffer with the taste of Rum I should at least feel the affects of it.

Sigh!

We had a great time at dinner though.

Here's the thing

2012-01-18T02:00:00.001-08:00

I know, I promised that I would write about the kittens. The kittens that aren't kittens any more as they are now almost 4 and 5.5. :)
So, we got the kittens when our girl, Qwill, was diagnosed with skin cancer. Husband pretty well freaked out and decided we had to get the new generation started so Sam wouldn't be left alone when she died. That was almost four years ago and we have four alive and well kitties. We are happy about the four kitties. They are our babies. I am getting side tracked.

First of all we went to some shelters around town. We both believe that you always adopt in twos so they have friends and can gang up together. None of the shelters had kittens, or cats for that matter, who really connected to us. So off we went to animal control. They had TONS of cats and kittens there and I quickly became interested in one little girl, but she wasn't calling to me, I just thought she was pretty. She was black but when you looked at her or pet her she had white roots. Plus the volunteer told us that she wasn't 18 months yet and already had a litter of kittens. I was so excited to have a new little slut kitten I couldn't even tell you! While I was flirting with my little oddity, husband was finally paying attention to a Siamese grey Tabby mix. We didn't really look at him because we didn't want the Siamese attitude problem that we had heard so much about. Husband reached into his kennel and met the sweetest most cuddly cat we had ever seen. He was a year and a half so we were a little worried about that.

Well, we ended up adopting our little slut, who we named after a porn star we like, Bella, and our new cuddle monster who we eventually named Links. He has this cool tattoo pattern on his forehead so I thought he might be a little gangster. So Links for the chain link fences. Aren't we cool!

Anyway, Bella and Qwill HATED each other from first sniff. We put Bella and Links in the guest bedroom to get the sniffing and relaxing over with. Bella was not very nice to Links in that room, but after a few days when we allowed them all to mingle, I thought our two girls would kill each other.

I asked my mom to please take Bella off our hands as she only had one cat, and we started the search for another boy. We realized through the experience of Bella there really was a difference with the breeds. We really wanted another Mainecoon to have that laid back accepting nature that we already had with Sam.

After some good internet searches we found the spitting image of Sam online. His picture looked like Sam looking back at us. So off we went to check out Basil. Now I can't have food names for cats, just seems weird.

He didn't want us to hold him on his back at first, but he relaxed into it. He was a little jittery and unsure but he allowed us to cuddle and hold him so we decided to give it a try. We brought him home and put him the the guest room with Links.

At this time Scott and I were taking turns sleeping in the guest room with Links. Now this is where Links bloomed. He would keep you awake all night with the cuddles. He would flop onto your hands for scritches and he would purr and make a fool of himself. This made it clear we had made the right choice adopting Links. When Tobi (at that time still vaguely Basil) went into the room with Links it was all very calm. You could hear them walking around under the bed, sometimes a little scuffle but nothing big. They both came up to cuddle with us but were mostly figuring each other out.

I had the first night in the room with both of the boys. Let me tell you the fight they had under the bed, in the closet, and many times running over me jumping on my gut in the process, well it was impressive to say the least. The room at the time was full of boxes so I couldn't do anything to stop it. So I just tried to sleep and deal with it in the morning.

So the next morning I wake up to two cuddly kittens giving each other a bath.

Here is the thing about Links. He is unsure of himself in a crowd, but alone he knows he is great. He likes the one on one cuddles, he will draw you away from the crowd to get his own special cuddles. He will sit at the highest place and wait alone for us to notice he is in a good spot. He is basically shy, and would be a great only cat, or maybe with just one other passive cat.

Tobi is a force of Nature. He comes at you full force and thinks he can win you over by sheer force of will and personality. Did you notice the intentional use of the word FORCE three times, I meant it. Basically that night he was jumping on Links and chewing on him all night until Links gave up and decided it would be easier to love him then to fight him forever.

We have since seen this tactic with Sam who gave up just as quickly. Within a day or two, Sam and Tobi were cuddling and giving each other a bath. Links and Sam have more of a power struggle relationship. Sam wants to show he is the alpha, and Links just wants to cuddle with him.

Now Qwill has not been so easily swayed. Qwill likes Links very much, they get along and can be in the same room. It has been four years and Tobi is still trying his bite her in the ass, swat her in the face with all his might, or jump on her back while she is running away ploys... it is not working. It has been so bad that at the beginning of their time with us, Qwill started being more of a bitch than normal, and she started calling them "The Bastards" when she was walking down the hall, or trying to get away.

I know she can't talk people. I know cats can't talk, but if you were in the house when Qwill got her pissy on you would understand what I mean. She has a way of invading your brain and meowing in a specific way that makes you understand. SHE TALKS and she named them "The Bastards." Here is what I mean for example:

Imagine if you will a cute cuddly Qwill innocently walking down the hall, you see her through the door frame into the kitchen. Seconds later you see the flying squirrel pose so expertly fashioned by an over excited Tobi. One millisecond later you hear the screams of frustrations of a girl who was simultaneously jumped on and bit in the butt. Then a rant fills your brain telepathically as you walk into the office to force Tobi to leave her alone, all to his batted eyelashes of innocence and "what I didn't do anything", and you see Qwill climbing up onto her sanctuary behind the monitor on Husbands desk:

"Those little basters make my life miserable. I was just fine with Sam and Mom and Dad, and then those little bastards came in here and ruined everything, (Meow) You could kick those Bastards outside and everything would be fine you know. Stupid Bastard biting my butt, and attacking by air. Who attacks by air. (Meow) Why don't you get rid of those Bastards Mom!!!! Come over here and pet me for the love of God! I was just bit by a Bastard in the ASS. (While being cuddled soft innocent eyes looking adoringly at me) Mom, can't we go back to the old way and get rid of those Bastards. it was so much better before...."

Then I gently remind her that we got the little bastards because of her, and now they are here and she needs to make nice.

It is funny. We will be sitting in the room with all of the boys in sight and Qwill will start to throw a fit like she is being attacked. We yell at her, "we know you are fine, knock it off," and the Rant starts again. "Stupid bastards!"

So needless to say we call our Cats, Sam, Qwill and the Bastards. It is a wonderful home.

Notice chew marks on Links neck from where Tobi had just been attacking.

Dd I mention that I am allergic to cats? Oh well, I love my babies.

Disappointed in myself

2012-01-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

I really don't like Starbucks. I didn't like the way they took over the world one intersection at a time in the 90's. I didn't like that my favorite stores closed because of them. I try my darnedest to buy locally especially when it comes to coffee.

Most importantly, I drink Mocha's... they should be sweet not bitter, you shouldn't have to add more sugar to a mocha... what the heck.

Anyway, my favorite store Cafe Nation closed recently, they had a drive thru, a variety of food and everything. The building went through renovation and I was hoping that they would come back better than ever.

So while they were closed, I only have one other drive thru coffee place between me and one of my jobs. the job I occasionally work at 5:30 in the morning... I need me my coffee at that time people. I know you understand. So I started going to Starbucks. Plus they have the big Rice Krispy Treats... delish.

Well, my favorite place has been replaced by a Mattress Mart, and now the staff at Starbucks think I am a regular and know I like a straw with my hot drinks and everything... What am I to do?

I am so disappointed in myself.

Bathrooms

2012-01-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

So I was just at work and I had to go to the bathroom. They were being cleaned so I used the men's, no big deal. No one was around for me to bother. This made me think of two things.

1. I imagine there are women who have never been in the mens room. That makes me sad. It isn't like there is anything special or whimsical in there, I just feel that life is meant to be experienced and what easier way then to go in the wrong door every once in a while. Even better if there is someone in there, give you both a jolt of adrenaline. :D

2. The first time I entered the mens I was in the 7th grade and goofing off with my boyfriend SB. He was my best friends brother and SUCH a cutie. Goodness. Anyway we were goofing off and I was chasing him haphazardly and he thought I wouldn't follow him into the bathroom but he was wrong. To his suprise I followed him in, to my suprise I ran into the Principal. I smoothly exited and ran for all I was worth. He didn't know who I was luckily. What a great way to break that barrier. All my friends thought I was bold. Heck I thought I was bold.

Happy memory there.

Webcam Fun Fact

2012-01-11T02:00:00.000-08:00

When I have a new sunburn (Yes, I have a sunburn in January. Leave me alone, I am Norwegian) my eyebrows completely disappear on the camera.

Been awhile

2012-01-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

So I did a energy balancing on Jan 1st that i entered in a frazzled state I have never really experienced before. During that reading/work I explained that I knew something was wrong but I didn't know how to explain it, and I really didn't know where to go next.

Answer - Integration and nature. So I apologize for not posting recently, I have been integrating under a tree watching the sky. I have been deriving around without my radio on. I have been spending time with my friends. I have decided to take a break from learning and allow my mind and body to integrate what I have crammed into my brain recently.

I had a great vacation.

Stinky

2012-01-03T18:36:00.001-08:00

I permed my hair today. Hard to get away from the smell. George cut too much off but husband is happy.

I have the oddest husband, he prefers my hair short. I am resisting the "law" that when you hit your 30's you have to cut your hair shoulder length or shorter. I want flowing salt and pepper hair somewhere between my bra strap and my hips.

I hate it

2012-01-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, so if you have a name, and you really hate it, and people at your new job keep calling you that name... what do you do?

My name is Jessica, I hate Jess, I provide Boof for those who prefer a one sylable name, I HATE Jess, I prefer Jessi with an I if you must shorten my name.

Now, how to tell people at work when we don't have a lot of time to talk, and they always say it when I can't bring it up...

Peace and love!

New

2011-12-31T21:53:00.001-08:00

Happy new year Peeps. On my way home from work to snuggle with my five loved ones.

I am sad to see this year go, it has been a exceptionally good to me and mine.

Hugs!

Vacation

2011-12-30T10:09:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how fast days can go by when you are doing nothing? Well at least it feels like nothing.

I have gone to the movies with M, The Decendents, it was great. Made me cry.

I have gone to Metaphysics World, and purchased Tarot cards. I have purchased a bunch of different kinds of cards, color, chakra/zodiac, gem and tarot, and thrown them all at least once.

I have arrived at the color changing spot on my skirt and now wait for my shipment from Coveted.

I have started a boring scarf... think I will switch to a new sweater I want to make.

I have watched movies on Netflix instant, I have watched Craig Ferguson... all while knitting.

I have touched up my tattoo.

I have tempted myself shopping online.

I have done the Awakening Kundalini meditation twice.

I have played tennis.

I have goofed off with Husband.

I have gone out to breakfast.

I have ordered Chinese

I have cooked a delicious ham.

I have moved my beading organizer into the living room.

I goofed off with the girls at the mall.

I went to my Kinesiologist.

All that since Tuesday at 10 am. Guess I am not just doing nothing.

Annual Christmas

2011-12-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

Husband and I have been together for fourteen years. Every year we have purchased a tree ornament for one of our Christmas presents to the both of us. We try to get something the sums up our year, or if we find something really cool, we will go with that.

This year we bought a Twilight Christmas ornament. I am embarrassed to say I am so addicted to the books and crappy movies (come on, admit they aren't great movies even though you have watched them all) that they were such a driving force for the year that we both agreed that had to be our ornament. I laughed at myself for the rest of the night.

Welcome Home!

2011-12-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

I live in a military town, but they make it very easy for us to forget
that. Yes there are cool planes flying around all the time, and I see
uniformed people out at lunch every once in a while, but most of the
time I am just living my life.

Last night I went to get husband some dinner. I decided to get some
dinner rolls for Christmas dinner as well. I walked down the counter
to see what rolls they had available, and when I returned to the
register there was a man standing there.
"Good evening." I said. "Having a good night?"
" I am having a great night, I am so happy to be home. I just got back
from Iraq." He said.

My brain starts whirring, what do I say, don't be disrespectful, does
he want to talk about it, he wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't.
CRAP what do I say. "Are you overwhelmed?" Crap, why did I say that!

"No," he said, "I am just so happy to be back! I missed being home I
was in Iraq for seven and half years."

"Oh, My GOD! That is amazing!" Luckily, because my foot was firmly in
my mouth by this time, the server came with all of my food and wanted
me to pay him. While this was happening I realized how lucky I was to
be so touched by this man. His amazing open heart happy to experience
all the Christmas time has to offer. I truly am blessed to have met
him. Once paid I asked, "can I give you a hug?" After a split second
he bashfully opens his arms wide, A hitch of emotion hits me and I
give him the best hug I have ever given. I whisper "thank you for
everything" in his ear, grab my bags and go.

I quietly cry on the way home for the gift he and the rest of our
soldiers so willingly give.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Lucky Girl

2011-12-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

I am very fortunate.

I work in a field where I have access to people lives. I am with them when they are making life altering decisions or simply having ordinary conversations.

My work makes me appreciate my friends, love my parents, and worship my husband. I am thankful everyday for my job, I love it. I appreciate the gravity of these situations I am privy to.

I am a very lucky girl.

Hugs peeps!

Therapy

2011-12-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

Things I love to do but stop when I need to do them everyday.
1.      Meditate
2.      Play tennis
3.      Read my spiritual books
4.      Crafts
5.      Walking
6.      Akashic Records
7.      Aura Practice
8.      Work on any of my businesses
9.      Church. Spiritualist Church in Tucson.
10.     Body Stretches
11.     Writing in a journal – Blogging
12.     Left handed writing
13.     Handwriting analysis
14.     Take my pills – Juice Plus

So I have this very specific block where I avoid doing the things that I truly enjoy because I feel like I SHOULD do them everyday. I have worked on changing my language to "I get to do this." doesn't work. It doesn't matter if I impose it upon myself or someone else, a doctor for example, imposes it.

If anyone knows what the hell is wrong with me and not being able to express myself. please let me know. This is very frustrating, I really like the above list it makes me happy to do each and everyone of the items listed above. I simply dread every second until I start doing the activity.

Hugs for anyone who helps! Hugs for everyone else too. :)

PS. Happy Birthday! You know who you are.

UPDATE!
I went into my records to see what they had to say about this conundrum and here is their response:

Q: I am very frustrated with this aspect of my personality and would
like to adjust it.
A: You will when the time is right. What is wrong with having down
time in front of the TV? Your brain moves far too fast for your
physical body to keep up. This laziness, as you call it, it is a rest
period. A way for the physical to relax from the mental activities.

Go Pack!

2011-12-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

So I have played Fantasy Football for two seasons now. The first year I lost miserably! Came in dead last. I wasn't able to do my own draft and I simply had bad luck. One week I had the second highest score, second to the person who beat me.

SO that brings us to this year. I AM KICKING ASS!!! I am number one in my league and all of our friends are floored at how well I am doing. I made great draft picks and have played the right players each week. I think I lost two weeks, but again, first place... that is until they sat Arron Rodgers on Sunday because the were walloping the other team... I lost in the first round of playoffs. Totalling every point my full roster got this last week, including the bench, I never would have won. What can you do?

I am all over the draft next year. Need to start researching for my next year players during the rest of this season.

At least the Packers are kicking ass.

That explains it!

2011-12-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

Now I know why I was so farty last night... food poisoning. This is twice in two months maybe my disregard for all things food and health related is finally getting to me. I was up all night with some of worst pain I have ever experienced. After about 45 minutes my body in complete muscle spasms, a full body sweat, I finally was able to try to go back to bed and almost didn't make it on my own. Luckily husband was there to help me. I shivered all night and had a fitful sleep.

Love my husband have I mentioned that?

So those of you who ask me questions... remember this story and think twice if you really want me to answer your question. I will give you every detail if you want it or not.

Holidays

2011-12-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

If not for the presents I wouldn't give a rats ass about Christmas. There isn't anything religious in the holiday for me. Doesn't seem to be for the family I celebrate with either. Honestly, it really ends up being a reason to spend a lot of money, force my way through hordes of people who have lost their patience the day after Thanksgiving, gorge myself on food, and feel a lot of stress; family and general.

I propose having a day of fun and food with your family on another random date that is special to you in exchange for Christmas.

But wait... then there wouldn't be a world wide day when you are required to send me presents. Gift cards to Coveted Yarn Store would be perfect thanks. Boofie needs to increase her yarn stash. Just tell Robert and Denise that it is for the Crazy Lady from Tucson. They will know who you are talking about.

Hugs to my stalkers!

Tonight

2011-12-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

I am VERY farty tonight. You are lucky you are not sitting next to me. It isn't good over here.

That is right, I am woman and I fart. I am also... on occasion... WRONG!

Montana

2011-12-13T17:42:00.001-08:00

I am a little biased and feel very superior to everyone because I am one of the lucky few who were born and raised in the great state of Montana. The Population of people who can say the same is very small. We are the blessed few to be born in the most beautiful state in the country. Don't argue and tell me that Texas or what ever your birthplace is better, don't waste your breath. I am sure it is stunning, but nothing holds a candle to Montana.

In saying all of the above proven truths, I now live in Tucson, AZ. There is not near enough weather here. It is too hot most of the time. Since yesterday it has been raining and everyone has been complaining that it is too cold, or the rain makes them achy. People, it has only been 24 hours. Don't get me started on the parkas and the scarves and gloves, it is 54 degrees out side, get a grip!

I on the other hand I am a HUGE rain lover. I want to jump in the puddles and drive through them fast to make big splashes and waves. I never wear a coat unless it drops into the teens. needless to say my coat doesn't see the light of day very often. I walk around in my short sleeves and chat outside with friends showing me their breathe in the air and shivering.

On a regular occasion I tell Husband we will be reverse snow birds and live in Montana for the winter and Tucson for the summer. He doesn't find it funny.

A few things

2011-12-11T18:48:00.001-08:00

1. I am a packers fan. I have been since college, if not before. I am a VERY happy person right now.
2. One of my best friends just gave birth to her third, a boy. I am so happy to meet little Jaxon. It is amazing how quickly they wrap themselves into your heart.
3. Every Sunday night around 6pm an ice cream truck drives through my neighborhood. I have a couple thoughts on this:
      a. Should I call the cops? That seems like the behavior of a child predator.
      b. How many people running out into the dark does it take to make it worth the cost of gas for the
          poor schmuck trying to sell ice cream in December.
4. I have two followers (HI) I think I will call them stalkers.

Night Stalkers!

Fall in Tucson

2011-12-09T16:50:00.001-08:00

This week Fall finally hit in Tucson. I am lucky there are two stunning trees at work that actually change color. Brisk 32 this morning. Everyone running around in parkas and scarves. I don't pull out my coat until it is in the teens. Love being from Montana.

Hugs Peeps!

Food

2011-12-08T18:07:00.001-08:00

So in Lily Dale NY they have two regular restaurants, one called the cafeteria and the other the pagoda, and an amazing coffee shop. When I was there for my week I started asking the wait staff what their favorite thing on the menu was and then I would order that. I was always satisfied, and found food that I always thought I disliked was actually quite delicious. So I have continued doing that in my daily life.

NO ONE... EVER suggested a salad.

Lazy lazy girl

2011-12-06T02:00:00.000-08:00

I find myself being lazy in my changes in my life. I am happy to sit in my habits and not make the changes that I am so happy and so motivated to make.

I like to meditate everyday, I like going in the Records, it feels good, and I feel more grounded. And yet I find myself sitting and reading or watching TV. I am working on it; I want it so I can figure it out and move past my crappy TV Loving habits.

I am also good at getting my knitting projects about 98% completed then putting them away for months on end, and them I wonder why I am stressed that I have so many projects on the needles. I was advised by my peeps in the records that if I could just finish up all the projects I am currently ignoring, I would feel a great sense of accomplishment and would have less stress. I love when they tell me what I know in such a loving and not obvious way that I actually want to do it. :) So today I worked on finishing up my Alp Oriental Afghan. Tomorrow I plan on finishing up my 24 square cable sampler. All I need on that is the border. Then I have more scarves I want to make, and I have a long way to go on the crazy grey and red trellis bag. Lots of knitting to do I love it so! I need to finish some of these projects before I start my newest sweater and a skirt I am all excited about.

Notice my ability to slip into my knitting habit as a distraction as well? Sigh, I am a work in progress.

Later Peeps!

Another Webcam fun fact

2011-12-04T02:00:00.000-08:00

When I smile my lips make a straight line, when I am neutral the corners of my mouth tip down, but I still look happy, even neutral.

Last One

2011-12-03T13:57:00.003-08:00

I have had Strep. I just took my last antibiotic. I have missed many fun things so that I wouldn't infect my freinds. Now I can go have a ball, except the crazy weakness and exhaustion if I move too much.

Hugs Peeps!

Proof

2011-12-02T02:00:00.001-08:00

There is proof that I am improving. Before I started meditating and working in the records I would become very worked up at work over little things. I would hold grudges over NOTHING, and was basically a complete control freak, if you didn't do it my way, you were dead to me. Now my boss and one of my coworkers have mentioned how different I am, how nothing gets to me any more and I have stopped reacting to things at work. I call this progress.

Of course the still alive control freak in me thinks all of this is taking too long and I am not learning fast enough. I am trying to release that evil part of me... but it is so nice and controlling. :)

Green Life Juice

2011-11-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

I am trying to stop my addiction to Soda Pop. It isn't going very well. I am addicted to Mt. Dew.

Hot Flash

2011-11-26T05:07:00.001-08:00

So what exactly does a hot flash feel like? If it is like the center of your torso catching on fire so you can't have anything touching your back, then I have had them since 1999, and they suck!

We watched the Muppet Movie on Thanksgiving, and I was crazy hot for most of the movie. It suck because I normally have them for like ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and this time it lasted most of the movie.

The movie was really good. I laughed and fully enjoyed my self considering I was experiencing spontaneous Human combustion. This movie is sad, about the Muppets being forgotten. I think the hipsters are keeping them cool ironically.

The down side to the movie is I have had the Mahna Mahna song as my ring tone for almost two years now and people will now think that I am just being trendy. I make trends I don't follow them. The other down side is the Husband won't record The Rainbow Connection because he would be worried people are thinking he is being trendy. See the catch 22? Love the movie; support the Muppets coming back like Betty White, all our coolness being taken away by hipsters.

So our family tradition at my house is to go to Mimi's Restaurant and pay for a great dinner ($14.95 people), then go to the movies. We always see whatever is animated, unless there is a Harry Potter, or Star Wars movie openings, then we go to those. Most of the time it is a Pixar movie I think this is a great tradition. Of course I do or I would stop doing it.

Anyway, Gobble Gobble Peeps.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T02:00:00.000-08:00

I the spirit of Thanksgiving a story about being bit by a cat:

When I was going to college I worked for a vet. It was a great job; I was able to be around animals without owning them.

One day I was holding a cat for shots and it bit my index finger. I didn’t really react except to say ouch. My boss told me to go to the Hospital for the penicillin shots. She was shocked that I didn’t cry or anything. To me it was simple, I put my finger in the wrong place, and I have been bit before no big deal.

The next day I am give a grumpy old cat a bath. Understand this cat is emaciated, it smells, and really hates all people to begin with. For all of the visits the techs had to wear these HUGE leather gloves just for the examination. This was not a happy kitty. So I set myself up with a working rubber glove and the holding Leather glove. I get ½ way through this bath with the screaming and the clawing and suddenly he gets himself turned around and bites THROUGH the leather glove. While trying to dislodge him from that had I use the working hand, with the rubber glove, to pry him off me. He, of course, bites me twice, once on the meat of the hand and once through my thumbnail ruining my cuticle bed.

Why am I telling you this fascinating story? It is cold and the scar under my nail has begun to peel. Since I am a HUGE picker now it hurts.

Cats

2011-11-22T02:00:00.000-08:00

I have four beautiful cats, three boys and a girl. The girl is the aloof one on the top. Links is the Siamese Tabby mix, Tobi is the one dog piling Sam.

When Husband and I started living together I had always had animals. I grew up in Montana; animals are a basic requirement of living in Montana.

Husband had horrible experiences with other people’s cats, which he lived with. I was adamant about having animals, I was also adamant about have two of what ever we got so off to the Human Society we went to adopt apartment dogs.

I believe animals are better off in twos. At that time we were both working in theatre and did not have a lot of time at the house. If we adopted one animal it would be stuck in the apartment all day on its own with no one to play with. Well that is just a life I wouldn't want to live so I wouldn't impose it on some little animal that I just decided to take care of for the rest of it's life. That is simply not cool.

So anyway, back to the trip to adopt two apartment dogs. When we arrived all of the dogs were HUGE. Husband, I guess Boyfriend at the time but I didn't call him that had never really had big dogs before. The smallest dog I had growing up was a 60-pound Airedale. I also had Great Danes. But if Husband wants little yappers, and it meant I could have animals in our apartment that is fine with me. I can love anything on 4 legs.

So, since the dog idea was a bust we go looking at the cats. Just cause, we weren't planning on getting cats. Just to look, so we look in the room for the adult cats. Poor babies, not very likely the will be adopted. Sigh.

Then we walk over to the Kitten room. Now this place is cool. You can walk into a 12 x 12 room and interact with the little angles. This really gives you the opportunity to see what cats are interested in you, what kind of personality they have etc. I really like this approach, however I didn't need it.

I walked over the threshold of the door and saw in the far corner a freaked out Mainecoon who told me his name was Sam. I knew I was in trouble. I knew Sam was going home with me and I didn't know how to tell Husband. Husband immediately found himself attracted to this little grey puff of fur that could not have been more indifferent. He tried to get her to pay attention to him and was fully ignoring the beautiful striped and spotted grey kitty climbing his leg for attention. She was yowling at him and a full purr fest.

We walked out of that room a bigger family. We have been nothing but happier for it. Sam and Qwill came into our lives thirteen years ago and their impact has been great. They are sensitive to us in ways that I never experienced with a cat before. They have distinct personalities. They know I am in menstrual pain and make me sit so they can drape themselves over me to warm me up and comfort me.

I will explain the bastards at another time. Please sit in awe and wonder that is the magnificence of Sam and Qwill.

Qwill

Sam

Husband

2011-11-19T02:00:00.000-08:00

I call him husband because that is what I call him. I don't know when it started.

He recently told me he thought it was a dehumanization of him, and that he didn't like it so much.

I explained it is term of endearment. That it is my special way of telling him, and everyone else, I love him. When I say it my heart opens up in swells of love for the man.

See, I never wanted to get married. I didn't want kids. He changed all of that. Every guy I dated before him didn't. He is different in my eyes. I love him more it is that simple.

I call him Husband because I loved him enough to make him my husband.

Now the next part of the story; I have been talking about husband at work for three years now. I have friends that have met him, some who have socialized with him. When I say Scott did something, they look at me in puzzlement, they don't know who Scott is, so I have to say Husband and keep telling the story.

I started taking tennis classes my first year at my job. I went with friends from work and loved it. I met some new people and they all met and socialized with Husband. He would come watch my class, watch my newbie tournaments. After a few months I would hear the "Norm" call from Cheers when he arrived. All these women yelling, "Husband" in greeting. So funny! Sometimes if he is on another court and someone needs him I will hear a distant "Husband" and a wave of urgency. I love my life! A bunch of married women yelling "Husband" at my man. :D

And for the LOVE OF GOD, do NOT eat that chicken!!!

2011-11-17T02:00:00.000-08:00

So apparently I am very lucky to have a friend who is a health services Ph.D. candidate, or some such. I ask her stupid questions about food, and she tells me to walk away.

Now I know that I make some bad choices when it comes to food, and the thin line between bad a good. But I haven't had food poisoning that often for me to really worry about it. The times I did have food poisoning were uncomfortable, but not horrendous, and were mostly caused by other peoples cooking. So I guess I just didn't learn my lesson.

So I now listen to our friend, and if I don't listen well enough, Husband will tell me, "Remember our motto about these kinds of things! Be like Kristen! :)"

Two things

2011-11-15T19:26:00.001-08:00

1. When watching myself talk on my web cam, I notice I say the word "four" in two syllables, and an accent. I want to say this is my Montana accent strutting it's stuff, but I am simply not sure. I notice this with and without the lipstick.

2. I have a lamp behind me for some nice back lighting and it makes my hair look red... Hmmm. I would consider dying my hair red, but I perm it and my theatre Hair and Makeup friend screamed to never do that. The more I perm the more blond my hair becomes. Now let me tell you my natural hair color is rock star. It really is you would be greatly jealous of it if you could see it, but now it is this really cool color that is a lighter brown than normal, and has this great red tint. But the BEST part is my silver streak. Unfortunately the natural part in my hair covers the silver streak so no one can truly appreciate it. I can't wait until that streak takes over my full head, that will ROOOooCK!

Hugs!

I am so embarrassed

2011-11-14T17:34:00.001-08:00

So, who knows what happens on Nov 18th? That is right the most embarrassing part of my life opens the new edition on Friday at 12:01am, "Twilight; Breaking Dawn".

I am smarter than this. I am better than this. I am so weak. I think the books are OK, the movies are not great and yet I am completely addicted.

I resisted the whole concept and mocked friends and general culture for falling for the whole Mormon Vampire thing, then my friend K told me her experience in starting to read the books. That piqued my interest.

I devoured the books on my Nook, checking them out from the Library. I wouldn't dain to buy them myself, that would be silly. By the end of the third book the, the fourth hadn't come in yet. I bought it immediately. Once I finished the fourth, I Netflix'd the movies. Not wanting to wait for the third movie, I got a Red Box membership to get the third movie sooner. Not wanting to wait for Netflix to send the first two back I went on a search to get the best Blu-Ray version, with the most extra features.

I have watched the movies five times; I have read all of the books three times. I still believe that they are not that great, but it is my crack people. What is an addict to do?

I have been openly mocked about my obsession. I have also been asked by five people to go with them to see the movie when it comes out. I worked all weekend, so I will be going on my time off this Friday, opening day.

I hope the teenage screamers are in school when I go.

Hugs!

Crazy week

2011-11-10T18:32:00.001-08:00

I have had the fortune of working a conference this week. I helped organize it and now get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

SO I had an Esophogram yesterday. This is a swallow test with a live action x-ray. SO FRICKIN' COOL!!! At first I didn't connect the skull on the monitor as mine. Then I put the first mouthful of Barium in my mouth and I could see my jaw bone adjust on the screen... COOL! I told the doctor it was creepy.

The test was simple fast and painless. I really enjoyed the full experience. I had a great time joking with the doctor and the Nurse. I need to make an appointment with my ENT to figure out what to do next.

See in 2002 my ENT in SLC told me I had Acid Reflux. I assumed it was like my dad, as I ate Tums on a fairly regular basis. I told my doctor in 2002 "thanks for the information." I denied the medication, and went on my merry way. Come to two months ago when my ENT tells me I have Acid Reflux and I say, "Oh, yea, my doctor in SLC told me that in 2002 and I just ignored him. Really, it is no big deal." "Well," he said laughing, "it is a very big deal." He finds me HIlarious! That is how I got to see my stomach, and how my tongue helps me swallow. I got to see the barium go down my esophagus, and saw a bit of my ghostly intestines. FACINATING!!!

Maybe you don't think I am taking this whole thing seriously... My thought is why worry before you have to, then how will worrying help me deal with the problem? Honestly... it won't, so why worry??? Worry is a waste of energy. :D

Spoken like a true crazy person.

Hugs to all!
Night.

2011-11-08T19:11:00.000-08:00

So, I have a new website. Ahhzzz Akashic Records I am excited at the prospects of getting my work out there. I am excited at getting myself out there.

Had a great conversation with Husband tonight. I am so lucky to have him. There are many things that are changing for me, most of which are coming up for me in the Records. I am being pushed to do more for myself. This is a very scary proposition, but also exciting. I am working on a line of my crafts that I will eventually sell on Etsy.com. These are things I wouldn't have considered a month ago, now I am slowly getting in there and doing it.

GO ME!!

Two Things

2011-11-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

1. PMS eatting is a real thing, just try to take away my chocolate.
2. I work where I see myself in a webcam for my full shift. If I wear lipstick, I can't help but make faces at myself and play with my lips. Silly, I know, but they are just so there!

Trips and shopping

2011-11-06T07:25:00.000-08:00

So it has been a while. I went to Flagstaff and sat on a vortex. I also spent time with Husband and his friends from college. I watched him sing in a choir and my heart overfilled with joy watching him. I also watched a bell choir for the first time. OH MY GOD!!! That was so stinking cool.

So anyway back to the vortex. I decided to go to Sedona and hang out meditating for the day. I had breakfast with Husband, dropped him off for practice and drove to Sedona. First of all the drive was beautiful. All the fall colors out in full force. Then I realized I was in some very uncomfortable clothes. I found a Life is Good store, they had no pants but a cool shirt. I searched the town for pants... seriously.... hours looking for pants. Hours that I was just so looking forward to using for meditation. I finally found an amazing little store that had a beautiful drum that was hand made by Three Feathers. I don't know who that is but the sales person made a big deal about it. Honestly, I didn't care who made it but the sound hit me like nothing else has. I love my new drum. Now I just need to figure out how to play it.

Anyway, so I wasted most of my time to meditate shopping yet again. I did this in Lily Dale, and miraculously I did this at a RETREAT in Mass. I was in the middle of nowhere and I still managed to shop and spend a butt load of money... SO I wonder what this block is for. I really wish I could do something to fix this procrastination technique I am using. I have all sorts of plans for myself, and the fun of a new... whatever is so alluring.

Of course the other side of it is that I always find something amazing when this whim takes me so MAYBE it is just the fates making me shop. Yep I like that answer. Let's go with that. :)

Later Peeps.

Nice Chat

2011-10-20T21:43:00.000-07:00

A nice chat with a friend you don't see that often can be very enlightening. I am lucky to be surrounded but wonderful friends. They love me when they see me and they don't pressure me for my time. I love them all very much.

I hope they know. :)

Background

2011-10-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

So when I was 11 I attended the church of gossip and dressing well. When my parents divorced the congregation went from one of support to one of back stabbing and I was simply turned off. I stopped believing in God.

I moved to another town in Montana with my mom and we found a great group of people who were working in the Course in Miracles. This group of adults were crazy and fun. We did drumming, guided meditation, body testing, quantum physics and they allowed me to be who I was. Through that group I came into my own spiritual self.

I came to believe in reincarnation. I came to find that before my life started I had decided every step of my life in a big room with other spirits. I picked my family and my friends, I decided what I wanted to learn and achieve in this life time. I also came to believe that the only thing I have proof of is that I exist. The rest of you could just be figments of my imagination.

I trucked along with this idea until May 7th, 2011 where I found the Akashic Records books of Linda Howe. That day my relationship with my mother changed drastically; I changed drastically. Entering the records for the first time was like a warm hug, in my own arms. I was skeptical, of course, but the more time I invested, the better I felt and the more connected I was to my life and my friends. I didn't feel so awkward and alone, like a crazy person.

I connected with friends on a whole new level, and that is still shifting. My relationship with my husband has always been a strong one, but now the love simply poured out of me for him. I wasn't worried about rejection or if I was showing him too much and smothering him. I simply felt more comfortable being myself.

Fascinating.

I have always been a hard nut to crack. I have a great fun exterior that I show to everyone so they will be distracted and not injure my soft creamy middle. I am often the life of the party. However I would always be surprised if one of my friends actually wanted to spend their birthday with me. I just didn't get how they could want to spend important days of their life alone with me.

But now with the records I don't need to fill all of the gaps in a conversation. Hell, there is a conversation not just me entertaining everyone. It really is neat to hear what other people have to say for a change. You all are fascinating.

But on the other hand I am even more gregarious than before. I laugh louder and heartier simply because it is all so much funnier than it was 6 months ago. I enjoy the time I have. It is crazy.

So, that is the background of me. I have a lot of crap in my past. Who doesn't? I am working through it. I work on myself everyday, but today was easier because I woke up and did 20 minutes of So Ham.

I will go now and see what trouble I can get myself into.

Hugs and Love!

How it began.

2011-10-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

I blame Jenifer. She is the one who told me about Lily Dale, NY. I was happy trucking along in my own little spiritual bubble. Thinking I was the only person who believed what I do. The moment Jenifer told me, it changed my life, and I am happier for it. Now I have had amazing opportunities, I have met some very cool people, and I believe I will change my life by meditating everyday for a year.

I currently have three ways of mediation, and I keep them in a good cycle. I use the Akashic Records, I sit with So Ham, and I sit and beg my brain to shut up so I can be a spiritual entity damn it!

The wonderful Sharon Anne Klingler explained this simple change to me, and the amazing Linda Howe agreed with her. How can I not follow their advice?

Well, I am stubborn to the core; I believe immediate gratification isn't fast enough, and well... I am me. You tell me something will be good for me and I will do my all to prove you wrong.

This meditation is something different though. I feel a connection to it that I can't explain. When I am good at it, my friends take notice. When I ignore it, I take notice.

We Shall See.

Hugs!